Dear Fanfiction,
by JustWhatILike
Summary: After reading all the stuff posted on Fanfiction, this is just some stuff that I think the characters of the Percy Jackson books would say.
1. Percy

**Please rate and review! **

**Disclaimer: I'm not Rick Riordan. End of discussion.**

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm not going to break up with Annabeth. Ever. I mean, come on! It took us, like, five years together, and I'm not going to blow that all off just to date one of your "Mary-Sues." Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Percy Jackson

P.s. Seriously, if anything, Annabeth would break up with _me_ for doing something stupid.

**I'm going to try to post new letters daily, so let me know what you think!**


	2. Hera

**Please rate and review, good or bad, I want to hear what you have to say!**

Dear Lesser Mortals,

Maybe I didn't make this clear enough: I only have children with Zeus. I'm a queen: I need to set an example. How can I do that when I am of chasing other men? So no, I do not and will not ever have any demigod children, no matter how much you want them in your story.

I will crush you like a beetle,

Hera

**Let me know who you really want to hear a letter from, and if you have any good ideas on what I should write about. I'm planning on making the next letter from Piper, but that may change. **


	3. Piper

**As promised, this letter is from Piper. The next letter(s) are from Appollo and Artemis. Please review because it helps me get better! Also, comment any characters you want to me to write from, or any topics you want me to write about!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Rick Riordan. I wish I was, but I'm not.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Okay, I don't care that Leo calls me "beauty queen," I'm not into all that fashion and makeup stuff that other Aphrodite kids are. I mean, did you even read the books? Stop making me out to be some super hot diva that only cares about her appearance. How shallow do you think I am?

Not a beauty queen,

Piper McLean


	4. ApolloArtemis

**I got a request to do this, which was cool, because it wasn't something I'd originally planned on doing. I've read a lot of stuff with Appollo in it, and it's pretty much all the same, so here ya go.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Allow me to put this in a haiku:

You write about me

Dating my sister's hunters

That is so awesome!

Keep getting me girls,

Appollo

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Dear Fanfiction,

I _strongly_ disagree with my idiot brother; stop posting stories where Appollo, or any boys, date my hunters!

Besides, just because they don't date doesn't make their lives boring. In fact, my hunters go on more quests in a year than most demigods will in their lives.

The point is: MY HUNTERS ARE OF LIMITS FOR DATING. Heed this warning, or I will turn you into a stag. Or a duck.

I can hunt you down,

Artemis

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**So please let me know what you guys think; I love hearing what you have to say! **


	5. Nico

**Keep the ideas coming! I got this as a request, and I kinda liked the idea, do here it is! Remember to let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Thalico? Really? Thalia is a cousin to me. The idea of dating her is, quite frankly, gross. Besides, she's one of those hunters. Don't they have some 'no dating' policy?

It doesn't matter, because I have a, uh, crush on, uh, someone else anyway. *blushes*

What are you staring at?

Sincerely,

Nico DiAngelo

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**The crush part was kind of a spoiler, in case you haven't read House of Hades. If you haven't read it: you really should.**

**Anyway, R&amp;R! The next chapter is going to be from Thalia.**


	6. Thalia

**R&amp;R! Let me know what you want me to write about!**

**Disclaimer: I don't any of these characters.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Allow me to clarify: I am an eternal maiden. Eternal. As in, FOR LIFE. That means that I'm not dating anyone: not Leo (ew), Nico (that's just weird; we've barely ever had a conversation), Luke (he's dead for crying out loud), Percy (that's just disgusting), and especially not Annabeth (I don't know WHERE you people get these ideas from).

An_ eternal_ maiden,

Thalia Grace

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**Planning to make the next letter from Luke, but let me know if you have any ideas!**


	7. Luke

**Thanks so much for the awesome feedback! I love your ideas, and I'm working on writing the letters for all the characters you requested now. Keep up the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

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Dear Fanfiction

Go back and re-read Thalia's letter. Note how it says I'm dead? Once again: I'M DEAD. Get over it.

Still dead,

Luke Castellan


	8. Frank

Dear Fanfiction,

I exist too.

Sincerely,

Frank

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**Tell me what you think! I'm planning on making the next letter from Leo, and I'll try to have that posted tomorrow.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.**


	9. Leo

**Okay, sorry I haven't updated lately, snow has been cruel to my wifi. Anyways, please keep up with the ideas; they are amazing and I'm going to try to get to all of them! Rate and review, I love what you guys have to say, good or bad!**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Okay, so apparently I have some sort of reputation for being not-so-smooth with the ladies, but that doesn't mean I chase down every girl I see! Yeesh! I do plenty of other stuff than flirting, like, oh, I don't know, battling evil giants on top of volcanos. Try writing a story where I'm the hero, instead of the awkward flirt.

Sincerely,

Leo Valdez

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**Please let me know what you guys think! I'm not sure who I'm going to write for next... probably Reyna. Any suggestions? **

**P.s. Please let me know if you thought this letter was OOC. I know Leo loves getting girls, but I also figured he'd like to appear more powerful than awkward, as indicated by the books. Anyway, just let me know.**


	10. Reyna

**I loved all the feedback I got from previous chapters, please keep the ideas coming! I'm working on all your requests, and I'll have them up ASAP.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Why do you keep pairing me with Leo? Just because he's single and I'm single? Please. By that logic, I should be dating Octavian too (dear gods, please don't ever write anything like that). I met him once. Briefly. He destroyed my camp. No sparks or romance of any kind there. We clash.

Sincerely,

Reyna


	11. Khione

** So I got a request to do a letter from Khione. Not gonna lie, it was kinda tough. But hey, I like a challenge :) So here ya go! Please R&amp;R!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

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Attention stupid mortals,

Dear gods, you are all hopeless. I am not in love with Leo. At all. I was simply using him to further distract him and his little friends from his quest of freeing Hera from her prison. So all this Lehione stuff? It's not going to happen.

My lesser regards,

Khione

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** Was that out of character for Khione? I can't really tell, because it's been a while since I read The Lost Hero. Let me know if you think it is. The next letter is going to be from Calypso. Just a heads up.**


	12. Calypso

**I had a kind of hard time thinking of something Calypso would say, but this is pretty much it. Personally, I ship Caleo, not CalypsoxPercy (not sure what their ship name is, if anyone knows, please tell me), but you guys probably don't care about any of that. I love your ideas, and I'm totally going to use them! Keep on doing what you're doing!**

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Dear Fanfiction,

Please stop getting my hopes up. While I enjoy all your stories about me and Leo or me and Percy, I know it's never going to happen. In case you didn't notice, I'm cursed. Everyone I love leaves me and never returns. Don't make the heartache worse. Please.

Sincerely,

Calypso

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** I'm not sure who the next letter will be from... I've got alot of ideas, just don't know which to post next. Thoughts?**


	13. Percy (2)

** So this is going to be my second letter from Percy (alone), and I seriously want to know what you think. So tell meeee!**

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Dear Fanfiction,

I am not a god. I don't ever plan on being a god. I have seen what it can do to a guy, and may I just say, no thank you. Besides, I already turned down that offer. Isn't that enough for you? I will never be a god of tidal waves, or sea turtles, or anything else you could possibly think of.

Sincerely,

Percy Jackson: DEMIGOD

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** Before I start talking about my next letter, I just want you guys to know that absolutely none of these letters are personal. At all. These are just fun little things that I think the characters would say if they actually read fanfiction. It in no way shape or form criticizes your writing nor give my opinion on anything I say bothers you or send OOC, though, let me know!**

**So, ignoring my little rant, the next chapter is going to be about Pertemis. I'm thinking Artemis' POV, but I'm not married to the idea. Opinions?**


	14. Artemis

**I got this topic as a request, and decided just to do Artemis' POV. Let me know your thoughts!**

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Attention all Pertemis Shippers:

It is never going to happen. Get over it. I in no way shape or form find (nor have ever found) Percy, or any other boy, to be attractive. I am perfectly fine being an eternal maiden, and will never have any feelings for that demigod. At all. And if you cherish your spleens, stop writing about it.

Sincerely,

Artemis

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** I'm not sure who the next letter will be from, but it will be posted soon! Suggestions?**


	15. Everyone Else

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do Percy and Annabeth get all the love?

Feeling rejected,

Everyone else


	16. Hades

Dear Foolish Humans,

I am a kind father. I may not be Dad Of The Year, but in case you forgot, I went out of my way to try to protect Nico and Bianca. I saved them when Zeus, curse him, killed their mother, and I also gave Hazel a free-pass when she should have been on the list of escaped souls. You're welcome. Stop portraying me as some evil psychopath who abuses his children.

Looking forward to your deaths,

Hades


	17. SallyPercy

Dear Fanfiction,

Percy doesn't have a sister. I think I would have remembered that.

Mother of ONE,

Sally Jackson

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Dear Fanfiction,

I agree with my Mom, I don't have a sister, sheesh! Seriously, why is it always a sister,though? Why never a brother? Anyway, it doesn't matter because I don't have any siblings. Period.

A SINGLE child,

Percy Jackson

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**I was going to make this a one letter chapter from either Sally or Percy, but I didn't know which I liked better (probably Sally's) so I posted them both.**


	18. Annabeth

Dear crazy Fanfiction authors,

I'm not going to become a sex goddess. Period. That is just gross. My mom is the goddess of wisdom for Athena's sake. I am _way_ too intelligent to go around doing something so stupid and meaningless with my life. So stop writing about it.

Grossed out,

Annabeth Chase

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** Just an a/n: you would be surprised how many of these Fanfictions there actually are**


	19. Piper (2)

Dear Fanfiction,

I am a powerful demigod. I was one of only seven chosen to defeat Gaea. I have fought giants and monsters that would give you nightmares. In other words, I am so much more than Jason's girlfriend. So why is that all I seem to be in your stories?

Actually useful,

Piper McLean


	20. Percy (3)

Dear Fanfiction,

What. The. Hellhound.

First off, I am a GUY. Annabeth is a GIRL. And these "gender bent" fanfictions are just weird! Is it really that hard to keep me as a dude?

Male, NOT FEMALE,

Percy Jackson


	21. Camp Half-Blood

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do you keep writing these random stories where we are princes and princesses or some other members of a royal family? Because we are literally just a bunch of teenage demigods that go to a summer camp in Manhattan. Nothing royal about that. So if you're going to write about our lives, please make it WAY more realistic.

Sincerely,

Camp Half-Blood

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** Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I don't really have a good excuse, but I have been paying attention to your reviews. I've gotten alot of requests to do a letter from Rachel, so I'm planning on making that next! R&amp;R!**


	22. Argo 2 crew

Dear Fanfiction,

Thank you for automatically assuming that one of us will die by the end of this quest. Very motivational.

Sincerely,

Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Leo, and Frank


	23. Athena

Dear Fanfiction,

I'll be you for a minute:

"and i said percy dont do it but all he said was sorry annabeth i have to so then percy tge stupid ran into the giants mouth and was never seen again"

See? Your grammar is atrocious and your vocabulary is poor. Also, for the love of the gods, I STRONGLY recommend that you use spell check.

Sincerely,

Athena

P.s. If you would like to take that small plot suggestion, I would not oppose.


	24. Percy (4)

Dear Fanfiction,

I have never called Annabeth "baby." I don't have a death wish.

Sincerely,

Percy Jackson


	25. Hazel

**I haven't been keeping up with this stoy (like, at all) but I want to thank everyone that's favorited and reviewed - I love reading what you have to say! - ****you guys inspired me to write another chapter. I don't think I've done Hazel yet, so it's about time we've heard from her.**

**Also, I would like to appologize to anyone who has felt insulted by this story. It is never my intention to upset anyone - I write this because I enjoy it. I understand that everyone on this site is writing _fanfiction_ (duh) which is completely up to the author's imagination and everyone can interpret the books differently. No one has to sound exactly like the characters either - a lot of my favorite fanfictions are completely OOC. None of this is personal and this piece does not necissarily represent my personal views, but rather the opinions I imagine the characters themselves would have (and as an author with my own interpretation, I could very well be wrong about these opinions. Idk man). So if you feel insulted, I sincerely appologize. I'm sure you are a fantastic author. **

**Thank you.**

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Dear Fanfiction,

I would personally like to thank you for taking an interest in our lives. I am honored. Leo has introduced me to computers, which are fairly complicated. I was wondering if you could clarify some computer vocabulary for me as well as answer some questions I have:

What is an "omg?"

What is an "OTP?"

Why/how do you "ship" something? (Leo tells me this is not a nautical expression)

Why do you "die" when something is cute? I speak from experience: dying is not fun or an apropriate response to cuteness

What is a Solangelo? (Leo told me it's Nico's name mashed up with someone elses, but I don't understand.)

Sincerely and best wishes,

Hazel Lavesque

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Dear Fanfiction,

Unless you want a hoard of zombies spending a few nights in your closet, I _strongly _suggest you DO NOT answer that last question!

Best happiness and all that,

Nico


End file.
